Ethan’s Story

On June 10, 2008, around 1 pm, Becky received a message from  our adoption agency in VA Beach, saying that they had a newborn baby boy, and were we interested?!  I was working at school and luckily didn’t have any students in my classroom at the time, so I called them back and said, “YES!”  I was shaking I was soooo excited!  Sean was on a plane on his way to CA at the time, and wouldn’t even land until around 4pm, but I knew he’d say yes, so I didn’t hesitate.  I spent the next few hours on the phone, back and forth with the agency , the lawyers office, and my Mom and sister, trying to get everything figured out.   It was the last week of school, and my students were for the most part with their homeroom teachers (I taught ESOL), so I only had to make a few arrangements to get my classes covered.  Everything fell into place so well that we knew it had to be God’s work!  Evidently, Ethan’s birth mother had him at home with the help of her friend.  She brought him into the hospital and left it up to the hospital to decide who adopted him.  It just so happened that her doctor that day adopted from our agency many years ago, and decided to call them.  Then our agency’s owner and dear friend, said that since his birth mom was leaving it up to them to pick the parents, they’d ask the family who had been waiting the longest to adopt– and that was us!   Around 4pm, Sean got off the plane and received my email and phone message.  He called me right up and said, “tell them yes!”  (Poor guy– he thinks I waited for him to call me back?  HA!)  It was all such a whirlwind of a day.  I was shaking for hours– excited, scared, you name it!  We didn’t tell Mason the whole story that day.  He had a hard enough time losing Alyssa, and we didn’t want to get him too excited until things were more sure.  This was considered a high risk adoption and Ethan’s birth mom could change her mind any moment and it’d all be over.  We’ve been through enough situations to know that just when you think it’s going to be okay, it can crumble like a house of cards.   However, we just felt God’s guidance this time, like He was telling us this baby was really going to be ours.  Mason was excited about playing “hookie” from school for the rest of the week. :)  My Mom came down that same evening and the next day she, Mason and I drove down to Norfolk.  Every call I got all the way down there had me scared they were going to say, “sorry, his birth mom changed her mind.”   It’s such a scary place to be in, putting your heart on the line like that and having no control over the situation. 

Our first stop was at the lawyer’s office, where I signed a bunch of papers and wrote out a big check. :)  I felt like I was floating through all the motions, still not able to wrap my head around what was really happening.  We were actually adopting a baby– after all this time, it was really happening!  After we got done there, we left and went to the hospital. Of course we got lost on the way– just prolonging our excitement.  We half walked, half skipped into the hospital and up to the nursery.   I will never be able to put into words how I felt walking into that room, and seeing our sweet baby boy in our caseworker’s arms.  He was so tiny  and perfect!  Our caseworker handed him to me, and finally, after 4 1/2 years of trying, I was holding our little baby– really holding him!  He opened one eye to look at us and make a tiny cry, like he was saying, “Hey– I was comfortable! Why’d you have to move me?”  But  that was the extent of his discontent, and he quickly settled back down, and fell asleep in my arms.  All was perfect in my world at that moment!  Once all the nurses left, we took a picture and sent it to Sean in CA, and called to update him. 

We told Mason that we were going to be taking care of someone else’s child for just a few weeks, much like foster care, and had asked him if he was okay with that.  He was.  However, after a few hours in the hospital, one of the doctors let it slip when she asked him, “so, what do you think of your new brother?  He gets to go home with you forever!” !!!  Mason’s head turned so fast towards me and looked at me with that questioning look like, “Mom, is she telling the truth?!”  Needless to say, I then had to come clean with him.  He was soooo excited he jumped up and down and pounded the air with his fists– in a happy way– and became very giddy, to say the least!  It was nice to share that with him.  He seemed to understand how the birth mom could still change her mind,  and handled it all very well.

We spent that night in a hotel, and then brought baby Ethan home the next day.  Sean was waiting for us, after having taken the red-eye home from CA the night before.    I’ll never forget Sean’s first look at his newest son, standing in the driveway,  cradling him and gawking at him with a big grin on his face.    We were all still somewhat numb at the time, everything had happened so fast.  That is a week that we will never forget!

On June 25, 2008, Sean and I left the boys with my parents, sister, and her kids at Rehoboth Beach (where we were all vacationing) and headed down to Norfolk to court.  This was the big day we’d been waiting to have over, because once Ethan’s birth mom signed those papers in court, relinquishing custody of Ethan, then he would legally be ours. (We still have to do some things to finalize the adoption, but terminating parental rights is the biggest hurdle).  His birth father’s rights had already been terminated, and once his birth mom’s rights were terminated, we no longer had to worry about her changing her mind about wanting to raise Ethan herself.   Again, we felt God’s grace going into that day, and again He came through for us!  We walked out of the courtroom with the papers signed and a load off our hearts.  We had wanted so badly to thank Ethan’s birth mom, but were honoring her wishes not to meet us.  I whispered a thank you to her friend who was also in the courtroom with us, thinking that may be the most we would ever be able to do.  However, when his birthmother came out of the courtroom, she came up to us and introduced herself.  We were so excited and thankful to get to thank her in person.  I even asked her if I could hug her, and she said, “yes”.  None of that will ever seem like enough in exchange for who she gave us, but it meant to much to us to at least be able to thank her in person, not just via our agency.   We pray for her healing, and thank God every day for giving us Ethan.  He is such a sweet baby boy, very happy and full of personality.  Mason is the best big brother, spending a lot of time loving on Ethan and talking with him.  In turn, Ethan just lights up when he sees Mason. 

 

 

We are one big happy family now, and enjoying each day!  Thanks to all of you who have prayed with us over the years, and who helped us welcome Ethan into our family.  We love you all!

 

God Bless!

 

Sean, Becky, Mason and Ethan